Being a Second Class Citizen in Your Family
By Andy Heath
Poor things, they don' t mean it. They really don't. But somehow, I have found that in my family, I am always a bit of an outcast for my sexuality. When my cousin got married a few years ago, I asked my mother the following questions: If I got married to a man, would the family come together to celebrate my union as they did for Ashley? Would Aunt Sabra play the organ at the wedding? Would you walk in as the mother of one of the wedding partners? Would there be a reception and a party? Would you help fund it as you would have if I were straight?
I have to admit I did not like her answers to my questions. In all fairness, she eventually did say that she would come to my wedding if I got married to a man, but I'm not convinced that she would. I'm not convinced that any of them would come. And I'm not convinced - even as much as they would argue about it - that they view me as their equal simply because I'm gay.
I believe that there are a lot of families out there that view their gay members as second class citizens, someone that is not quite the equal of the others. Oh, for the most part families are nice, but sometimes they're just downright mean. And all for the love of Jesus!
"Not my family!" you say. "They love me just as much as anyone else in the family!" Do they believe that being gay is a sin? Do they believe that your relationships are equal to theirs? Would they let your significant other make the funeral arrangements if you were to die? If the answer is positive, then that is a good thing, though I believe that is more the exception than the rule.
We can't choose our families. That much I think we can all agree on. I think most of the time, they do the best they can. I also think that over time, they will come to accept us more. Keep in mind though that in the South, families often don't even accept interracial in-laws, so it will be quite some time before they accept us completely.
