Taking Gay Dating to a New Level
By Andy Heath
How many dates have you been on in your life? I have no idea how many I've been on, but I'm guessing it's probably in the hundreds by now. And there have been so many dead end dates. I meet people that I grow bored with, or they grow bored with me. Or both. Sometimes our intentions are not clear. He wants sex, and I don't. Or vice versa. You often never know.
But one thing happens quite frequently in gay dating (AND straight dating too), and that is the couple often goes somewhere and has sex. It's true. Look at your own experience. Talk to your friends, and you will find they say the same thing if they're being honest with you.
Let me say this first: I believe there is nothing wrong with sex. Sex is a natural expression of love and carnal energy that God (or whoever) meant for us to enjoy on this planet. We can do it safely, and we can do it in a variety of ways. We can enjoy our interests, our fetishes, our deepest darkest desires, as long as we don't hurt anyone in the process.
So my little rant today is not against sex, although you will think it is. I'm not advocating abstinence by any means. What I am advocating is that we spend some dates doing other interesting things besides having sex. Sex grows old, especially if it is with one person, and when the passion is over, what is left? The only way to have a constructive friendship with someone is to ensure that there IS something left when the passion dies down. And that "something" needs to be established prior to the death of your passion. So if you are dating people merely to have sex, you might try something a little different. Go see a movie. Go to the museum. Read a book and discuss it. There are lots of things you can do to get to know each other.
Ahh, but you say that you're not always interested in "getting to know" the other person. Sometimes you do really just want to have sex and then drop out of each others' lives until you're up for more. In that case, it's fine. Again, I am not advocating abstinence, and I see nothing wrong with casual sex, but it is good to add a little to the mix. It is good to meet new people and discuss other interests of yours. Even if you only meet someone once, you might learn something valuable.
