The Apostle Paul Must Have Been Gay
By Andy Heath
I'll probably be stoned for saying that the Apostle Paul was gay, but I honestly believe he was. The Christians will argue that he was amazing because he had the spirit of God in him, but I argue that although he was amazing, he was quite gay.
How the prostitutes went after Paul. And he told them they had nothing to tempt him with - which in my mind is certainly true. They would have had nothing to tempt me with either quite frankly. You can set my shrine up in the back and read this blog as your holy scripture, since I'm apparently so wonderful for not lusting after a female prostitute.
Of course, I'm only kidding, but that's not the only reason Paul must have been gay. You see, straight people have always wanted pretty much the same thing. They want to find a little wife and have little children and settle down and grow old together. I wish I had a dollar for every time I've heard a straight person with a fanciful gleam in his or her eyes talking about some sweet day when they find THE ONE.
But not Paul, oh no, not Paul. He didn't even think you should get married if you were a good Christian. In fact, I would say we have Paul to thank for some of the rules that haven't been updated in the last 2,000 years saying that priests cannot get married. Fortunately there is no record of Paul spending an inordinate amount of time around minor boys.
Yes, Paul is gay, and believe it or not, I actually have a great deal of respect for Paul for a number of reasons. He certainly was courageous. He talks about being shipwrecked a few times, which would NOT be enjoyable. And he went about preaching the word of the LORD in all parts of the world. Yes, he was flogged. Yes he was mistreated. He was a peace loving man (after he saw the light - pun intended - and gave up killing people for a living. You have to hand it to him though. People rarely ever really change, from what I understand.
From this rambling blog post, maybe you can glean a few jewels. First, Paul was gay. Second, Paul was not perfect. Third, Paul did some amazing things but was no better than anyone else. Perhaps we can learn something from Paul as a gay man. Perhaps we as gay people can learn to love and respect and accept each other and ourselves as we can relate to the life of Paul. Perhaps straight people can also learn to love and respect and accept us as they do Paul's memory.
